The Columbine Pilgrim

This is a postscript to my entry on Wednesday, basically a response to what has been said in the discussion thread of that post.
In the first place, when I said that only vengeance heals the soul, I referred to vengeance on grievances of which one was at the absolute mercy of the environment. A teenager can get out from an abusive school; but not from home, at least not in the third world: where there are no decently paid jobs for minors. It is a huge difference. While the teenager has the option of fleeing from a tormenting school, he cannot run away from the tormenting home.
Also, the bulling one receives in school destroys the victim’s self-esteem. The type of persistent, targeted mistreatment from father to son like what we saw in the movie Shine, destroys the mind of the victim. So we are talking about fundamentally different things.
This said, in 2011 Greg Johnson sent me, by mistake, The Columbine Pilgrim by Andy Nowicki. Then he sent me the book I had requested but did not charge me for Nowicki’s, and I actually read it. It’s not the kind of literature that I like, but I still think I should say some things.
Nowicki’s 2011 book smells like ink. The previous year, Johnson had published Michael O’Meara’s Toward the White Republic: the only one in the Johnson collection that smells like gunpowder, especially the final chapter.
That Nowicki is afraid of gunpowder is shown in the fact that, the same year he published his novella, I criticised what he said about Breivik in Johnson’s webzine. But Nowicki’s book has some good points. For me, it is literature lite, like the one I could read in a boring waiting room at an airport. Non-lite literature is the one that requires my study’s armchair and would move us to the revolution, like O’Meara’s book. In The Columbine Pilgrim we read:

My name is Tony Meander, and I am a Columbine-oholic.
What if you find yourself irresistibly drawn to a mass murder/suicide?
Tell people you’re obsessed with Columbine, and their eyes will cloud over. [page 1]
Set off the H-bomb within you and incinerate all those zombies posing as humans. [page 5]
I was the kind of boy pretty girls loved to tease, because pretty teenage girls are probably the cruelest, most hateful species to walk the earth; being young, pert, and beautiful, they have all the power in the world at their disposal… [page 32]
“You want to fuck me? Listen, you pathetic retard… YOU WILL NEVER FUCK ME. NEVER!” [page 36]
They drove the poor man [Nietzsche] to insanity… Nietzsche provided a spark that Hitler was able to stoke into a flame, a flame that set all of Europe on fire, burning and cleansing the face of the earth. [page 43]
Eric and Dylan are not Christ; they are far greater than Christ! Reb and Vodka would never stop so low as to be crucified—no! Instead, they blasted their would-be crucifiers with bullets and bombs; they turned the tables on their persecutors, brought them low, made them bleed. [page 48]
Hitler, their spiritual forebear, born on April 20th himself, a century and a decade previous… [page 44]
Ask yourself this. What have I done with my life that is worthy of the example set by Eric and Dylan? [page 51]
Why did it happen? I don’t know. Nobody knows. Some things we just can’t explain. Some of course, take issue with Principal Edmund. They charge that, in fact, bullying has been endemic at Dogwood for a long time… [page 67]
Every reaction is produced by some kind of action. Don’t try to tell ME that this guy was just the Devil incarnate… [page 71]

In the climax of his slim book Nowicki wrote the following (Patricia is the same Patti Hart Byron bitch quoted above):

“You remember me, dontcha, Bernie boy?” Meander continued, mercilessly…
The shot nearly tore off the entire top part of Bernard’s head. Patricia began screaming uncontrollably, and Meander walked over and savagely punched her in the face, causing her again to fall in the floor.
“STAND UP!” Meander then ordered. [pages 93-94]
He fired into his fellow alum’s chest, killing him instantly. Patricia screamed again, and began to sob loudly, but this time Meander just ignored her. He fastidiously dusted off his jacket, spat on the corpse… [page 95]
Then he fired seven shots into his face… [page 98]
Patricia had hit particularly hard times once her teen queen days were over…
“A long time ago, you told me something. Do you remember what you told me?”
Meander’s fly was still unzipped, his genitals still hanging out.
Patricia whimpered, covered her eyes, hid her face. Meander stooped over, grabbed her hair and pulled it hard.
“You fuck me,” he told her with emphasis, “or you die…”
“Take off your dress…”
“Take everything else off…”
“You’re not as beautiful as you used to be,” he told her in an even, appraising tone.” [pages 99-101]

Both Nowicki and I were educated in the Catholic religion. But unlike me, Nowicki never broke cleanly with that institution, which Nietzsche wanted to sweep to its foundations. (And he was even more vehement against the Protestants, as his father, a parish priest, had very probably abused him.)
That’s why Nowicki is a fan of ink, not of gunpowder.

10 Replies on “The Columbine Pilgrim

    1. Which is why the hardcover that’s in front of me was completely free (and I read it just out of curiosity of what exactly Greg, whom I still admired then, was publishing).

  1. thx c.t. for the book review. l kinda like the author’s snippet about how nasty pretty teen girls are. beyond that, i’ll pass reading it.
    @$500+ asking price per book on amazon, i hope the tribe used book sellers listing o’meara’s the white republic get zero takers. what’s their motivation for such robbery? maybe bibi’s fearful the book contains a feasible alternative to the present pax oligarchia?

      1. Maybe. I belong more or less to the generation of Highrpm and Arch Stanton, who only like the best of the best (e.g., Vidal’s Julian or Eco’s The Name of the Rose) and are intolerant to the adolescent style of mature men like Nowicki.

        1. I am careful of what I read, but not as much as you three. For example, I have a guilty pleasure book called No Country for Old Men.
          It is described as having Nihilist undertones, but I would say that it describes the postmodern West quite accurately. What’s more, like Nowicki’s book, it is perfect for reading very quickly, probably in one sitting.