First of all, I would like to thank an Old World man who today sent me a donation to start translating my twelve books.
Second, I must clarify that, for an individual who has transvalued his values, racism is not a vice but one of the highest virtues of the white man.
Once this is clarified, let’s get down to business.
Currently the white man is totally bananas. Never in the history of the West had a zeitgeistof self-hatred seized the collective unconscious of the white man in such a dreadful way as it does today. The present is, as I have said, the worst generation of whites since prehistoric times.
That does not mean that those who haven’t fallen into the folie en mass of ethno-suicidal hatred are automatically sane. As I have also said on this site, they are only sane to the extent that they have crossed half of the psychological Rubicon (race, Jewish issue and ethnic state). But they need to cross the other half (the Christian problem and the transvaluation of all values). The failure to finish crossing it implies psychosis in my opinion, as the large boulder in which they are stranded in the middle of the river is not a place to reside. It is not yet firm ground, and one cannot escape from Normieland by fleeing from that side of the river without daring to cross it completely.
Among those stuck in the middle of the psychological Rubicon, quite a few suffer from mental health issues. This is obvious every time a mass shooter makes a prank for example. Without even knowing the ethnic group of the shooter (the last time he turned out to be black) many demented people, in the comments section of the white nationalist forums, immediately jump to premature conclusions, e.g., that it must be a false flag to eliminate the Second Amendment of their country, etc.
Even the most intelligent commenters sometimes have traits of psychosis. Not long ago on this site some of the smartest I have encountered in the entire blogosphere admired Charles Manson. The racist who initiated that psycho admiration was James Mason, admiration included in Siege. Well, Siege readers have failed to realise that, if their revolutionary manual hasn’t been able to galvanise a portion of the revolutionary population to the degree of forming a serious organisation, that could be due to this psycho trait of the author. I not only refer to his praises of Manson but to his Christianity, incompatible with crossing the rest of the river. (I’m not going to repeat the follies that these clever commenters said about Charles Manson; whoever wants to read the January thread can do it: here.)
But what I want to convey is something deeper than the Mason / Manson affair. Many people who defend the West on the internet have had mental health problems precisely because the System had put us, previously, into hell. This is clear in the biographies of those who suffered bullying in school and, transferentially, identify with young shooters in schools, such as Columbine.
To give a specific example. I read Andy Nowicki’s novel, The Columbine Pilgrim. Just compare the frivolous genre Nowicki chose with my gravitas: writing about the events of my life with the real names, without altering the facts in fiction as Nowicki did. Is it not reasonable to suppose that, after writing my twelve books, the degree of my psychic integration could be greater than that of a Nowicki? After all, it is not the same to write the novels that Solzhenitsyn wrote about the Red Terror than to have written The Gulag Archipelago!
Here is another example that I have talked about before. Hunter Wallace of Occidental Dissent had serious problems with his parents, who committed him to a psychiatric ward for a season. Like Nowicki, Wallace has not recreated that hell in an autobiography. Although I was never hospitalised, my parents did something similar to what they did to Wallace as an adolescent. Is it any wonder that he who has not processed his pain continues to cling to the religious dogmas of his parents?
The list could grow, but I do not know the specific testimonies of those nationalists who have had serious mental health problems because they don’t talk much about them, probably not even in intimate diaries.
I was never mentally ill in the sense of, say, classic psychiatric categories such as schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder or addictions. But cognitively speaking I was very ill when, after the hellish conditions at home, I joined a cult, an offshoot from Christian Science, at the end of 1978: a cult from whose dogmas I didn’t get cured until mid-1995. It is true that believing the dogmas of a sect isn’t considered psychosis by current psychiatry, because in that case it would be possible to say that also those who believe in more traditional churches are psychotic as well. But in my view, any serious cognitive distortion of reality represents a psychotic state whether it comes from a minority or majority church. And from this angle, even the psychiatrists themselves are psychotic with their demented bio-reductionist ideology, as I have said elsewhere.
But going back to the commenters of white nationalist forums. Right here I have been told, in the comments section, that my main flaw is a huge ego. I do not see it that way. Rather, for having written those twelve books, most of them confessing my tragic life, I can see things that the common nationalist is unable to see. Even much of the psychotic mono-causality that we see in some quarters of white nationalism, along with their equally psychotic Christianity (as an anti-Semite obeying the god of the Jews is, by definition, a schizophrenic) are due to the most elementary lack of insight or knowledge of oneself.
In the discussion thread that got the most visits from all the recent threads, I quoted these words from Solzhenitsyn and I think I should re-cite them:
Prison causes the profound rebirth of a human being… profound pondering over his own ‘I’… Here all the trivia and fuss have decreased. I have experienced a turning point. Here you harken to that voice deep inside you, which amid the surfeit and vanity used to be stifled by the roar from outside… Your soul, which formerly was dry, now ripens from suffering…
And the only solution to this would be that the meaning of earthly existence lies not, as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul…
In the surfeit of power I was a murderer, and an oppressor. I was convinced that I was doing good. And it was only when I lay there on rotting prison straw that I sensed within myself the first stirrings of good…
‘Know thyself!’ There is nothing that so aids and assists the awakening of omniscience within us as insistent thoughts about one’s own transgressions, errors, mistakes. After the difficult cycles of such ponderings over many years, whenever I mentioned the heartlessness of our highest-ranking bureaucrats, the cruelty of our executioners, I remember myself in my captain’s shoulders boards and the forward march of my battery through East Prussia, enshrouded in fire, and I say: ‘So were we any better?
And that is why I turn back to the years of my imprisonment and say, sometimes to the astonishment of those about me: ‘Bless you, prison!’…
Lev Tolstoi was right when he dreamed of being put in prison. At a certain moment the giant began to dry up. He actually needed prison as a drought needs a shower of rain… And I say without hesitation: ‚Bless you, prison, for having been in my life!’…
In prison, both in solitary confinement and outside solitary too, a human being confronts his grief face to face. This grief is a mountain, but he has to find space inside himself for it, to familiarize himself with it, to digest it, and it him. This is the highest form of moral effort, which has always ennobled every human being. A duel with years and with walls constitutes moral work and a path upward (if you can climb it).
He who has been martyred at home should take a vacation to ponder on his distant past, the unconscious that lies under the tip of the iceberg, despite how horrible the surfing experience may be (I know, because I reached the farthest submerged area of the iceberg). Not long ago I saw in a program a diver saying that surfing beneath an iceberg was a rather eerie experience. Most men avoid psychic diving, so to speak, because self-surfing gives indeed the creeps.